The Challenges People in Recovery Face During the Holidays — and How to Mitigate Them
The Holidays Aren’t Always What They Seem
When many people think of the holidays, they imagine warmth, family, connection, good food, and rest — and rightfully so. When the stars align, those moments of peace and joy are possible. But for many people in recovery, including professionals who spend the year holding everything together at work, the holidays can be one of the most challenging seasons of all.
Common struggles include:
The holidays are a time for celebration, and many people in recovery once celebrated through their addictive behaviors (e.g., drinking, drugs, sex, gambling, or workaholism).
The cultural emphasis on romantic relationships can amplify loneliness for those who are single or newly separated.
Family gatherings often highlight old wounds, especially when relationships remain strained or unresolved.
The pressure to love the holidays can create shame for anyone who feels disconnected, isolated, or indifferent this time of year.
The Celebration Effect
Many people in recovery once leaned heavily on holiday festivities as permission to indulge. The night before Thanksgiving, Christmas parties, New Year’s Eve — these occasions often became anchors for addictive behavior. When sobriety enters the picture, the old wiring around “celebration” can leave a void that’s confusing to fill.
Antidote:
Work with a therapist or trusted peers to clarify your values around the holidays. Ask yourself: What do I genuinely value about this season — and what was simply an excuse to act out?
If the answer is both, that’s okay. The key is to preserve the meaningful aspects and release the destructive ones. Consider hosting a “Friendsgiving,” volunteering, baking with your kids, or finding joy in simple, sensory traditions like music, light displays, or community gatherings. Celebration can be grounding rather than destabilizing.
Professionals in recovery — lawyers, physicians, executives — often struggle with “performance mode” even in their downtime. Reframing celebration as restorative rather than performative can be profoundly healing.
The Hallmark Effect
Thanks to Hallmark, Lifetime, and endless streaming options, holiday media often centers on love stories and picture-perfect families. Add snow, romance, and glowing lights, and suddenly the mind starts whispering: Everyone else has someone. What’s wrong with me?
Antidote:
Recognize that these feelings are normal — then challenge the internal narrative. Therapy can help you process the grief or longing beneath the loneliness without letting it define your worth.
If your addiction cost you a relationship or family connection, the holidays may intensify that loss. Increase contact with your recovery community, and if you attend Twelve-Step meetings, lean in rather than pull back. Emotional connection, not withdrawal, is the antidote to comparison.
For professionals accustomed to achievement, loneliness can feel like failure. Remind yourself that emotional recovery isn’t a performance metric — it’s a process of becoming whole again.
The Family Effect
People in recovery often carry complicated family histories. Maybe the holidays once meant conflict, chaos, or isolation. Maybe there were divorced parents, painful losses, or ongoing estrangements. Whatever the story, these dynamics often surface during the holiday season.
Antidote:
Lean on your recovery supports — sponsor, therapist, or trusted peers — to process grief and manage expectations. Create a chosen family of people who see and support the healthiest version of you.
Give yourself permission to grieve what never was. Healing doesn’t mean forcing cheer; it means honoring the truth of your experience.
Professionals in recovery often face an added layer of pressure: family members who still see them as “the success story” rather than as a person doing the hard emotional work of recovery. Boundaries are an act of self-respect, not rejection.
The “Should” Effect
Many people in recovery feel like they should love the holidays — after all, they’re marketed as joyful and magical. Yet for some, the holidays stir ambivalence, exhaustion, or even dread. That’s not a moral failure; it’s a reflection of lived experience.
Antidote:
Don’t “should” on yourself. If you don’t feel festive, that’s okay. Acknowledge your emotions without judgment, and let them move through you. In therapy, practice self-compassion and mindfulness instead of comparison and guilt. Remember — authenticity is more stabilizing than forced positivity.
There Is Help
At P. Basenfelder Counseling, LLC, I understand how the holidays can challenge even the most grounded recovery. Whether you’re a professional balancing high responsibility with quiet loneliness, or someone early in your sobriety navigating old family patterns, you don’t have to go through this season alone.
Reach out today, and let’s walk together toward a holiday that reflects your values, peace, and integrity — not your past patterns.
Warmly,
Paul Basenfelder, LCSW
Addiction Recovery for Professionals
